There are visible signs your current boyfriend could show that he will become a better husband, so when you discover it, you should go straight and marry him.
Choosing whether or not to spend the rest of your life with a guy is a pretty weighty decision, on par with other scary decisions like whether you should eventually be responsible for the well-being of another human. Or whether you should have pizza for the fourth day in a row.
So, how do you know if your beau is husband material? It’s a toughie. How can you ever really know that he’s going to be the type of guy you can count on when push comes to shove? The type who will still wine you and dine you after you’ve been together for five trillion years? The type whose happiness will always be crucial to your own (and vice versa)? The guy who understands that you’re obsessed with cats on the Internet (even though he doesn’t understand why).
So, without further adieu, here are 15 random signs this one’s a keeper:
1. He indulges your guilty pleasures
A guy who’s husband material comes home from a long day at work, bypasses his man cave, ambles on over to you instead and up-ends his backpack to drop five bags of Cadbury mini eggs onto the table — and he doesn’t even like chocolate. Then he says, “Muffin top? What muffin top? I love your curves.” Swoon.
2. He brags about you to anyone who will listen
A guy who’s husband material talks you up to his friends, family, his dry cleaner, the guy at the deli on the corner, his hairdresser, the old woman who lives next door and is always concerned about whether he’s “met a nice girl yet” … even (gulp) his mom. Because he thinks you’re talented and amazing and gorgeous, and goddamn, everyone should know.
3. He loves your cats
Or at he least pretends to. Or at the very least he doesn’t complain (too much) when, within one week of meeting you, every article of clothing he owns looks like it’s growing a beard.
4. He likes your brand of crazy
A guy who’s husband material sticks around, even when you’re totally irrational or downright bitchy. He recognizes that he can be a pain in the butt, too. Because dude. You get each other.
5. He accompanies you on weekly visits to the nursing home to visit your grandfather
He knows that seeing your grandfather there breaks your heart. And then he engages in enthusiastic conversation with your grandfather, even though he’s already heard every story the guy’s ever told approximately 5,238 times since you first started seeing each other. That guy is husband material.
6. He fights fair
A guy who’s husband material takes a step back and becomes the voice of reason in the midst of your most volatile arguments. Perhaps he even suggests the two of you try that reflexive listening exercise your couples therapist taught you, even though he didn’t want to go to a shrink in the first place. But he did anyway.
7. He always remembers to do that thing you love in bed
You know the thing. The one that curls your toes? Where he takes his BLANKETY-BLANK and then BLANKS your BLANK? Because even though he often forgets that it takes more than a quick nipple squeeze to put you in the mood, he truly does want you to have as much fun as he’s having. And he’s having a lot of fun.
8. He hams it up in the most hilarious possible way
Your guy is husband material when he makes an a** of himself and you love it. He has that one dance move he likes to do at weddings, in front of all your relatives, inspired by all those Britpop groups he used to listen to back in high school. Your extended family finds this charming. You just roll your eyes and shake your head at him, until he grabs you and spins you around the dance floor and then attempts to dip you — a move that almost causes your… um… top to fall out of your top.
9. He is not a jealous man
A guy who’s husband material inherently understands that you don’t suddenly become blind to the attractiveness of others just because you’re in a committed relationship. He trusts you. Now there’s a concept!
10. He understands that the healthiest couples are not attached at the hip
Rather, the healthiest couples live their own lives, having experiences they can then share with each other the next time they’re together. As a result, your relationship does not implode just because he wants to go away on a weekend snowboarding trip with his coworkers, or because you don’t always invite him out to the bar with your OMies after yoga class.
11. And speaking of yoga
A guy who’s husband material attends your first few yoga classes when you suddenly decide that you’ve found your new life calling. Even though he hates yoga and collapses out of every single pose every five minutes while letting out a huge sigh. And then, when class is over, he’s proud of himself for remembering what Warrior II is, and thanks you for teaching it to him.
12. He writes a song about you
Hear me out: A guy who’s husband material pens a song about how you’re a bit of a loner, but “loner and lover are just a letter apart.” And then he performs it at his next gig. And though a part of you feels as if you’re living a scene from one of those cheesy, formulaic rom-coms, another part of you notices that your heart seems to be swelling in your chest, until you almost can’t even breathe.
13. He’s game
A guy who’s husband material takes you hang gliding on your 30th birthday because it’s been on your bucket list since forever. And he tries it, too, even though he’s terrified of heights.
14. In fact, he’s willing to try anything with you, no matter how odd or terrifying
He goes to a “cuddle party” with you because you need to do a write-up on it, even though he feels totally creeped out. He takes a hoop dance class with you, even though he suspects you’re trying to emasculate him. He dresses up as Santa with you and storms the streets of NYC, where he eventually proposes to you, asking you to be his Mrs. Claus.
15. You just know it
Sometimes, even when you’re frustrated with him, you remember just one of these things and are suddenly overcome by a massive, overwhelming wave of love. When he’s husband material, you just know it.